Various Happenstances of Seth

October 6, 2005

   Lobsters are really fun. This is almost tautologically true, but in case you want proof, I'll give three* examples:

1) Tonight, I attended my 8th annual Harvest Dinner at my favorite college dining hall, as unannounced guest of a very kind (and smart! and pretty! and I'm not just saying that because she gave me food! only mostly!) friend. Therein each entrant is given a ticket, which can be exchanged for one delicious lobster. And when the gods of fortune smile upon me, as they so clearly do on any evening I dine upon lobster, then I end up with multiple tickets donated by charitable individuals. I tend to be... more voracious in my lobster-consumption than most people, to the point that many people at my table will recoil in shock and horror as I gnaw through the various bits of lobster, with legs or shells sticking out of my mouth. But if you're going to eat lobster, you may as well do it right, where by "right" I mean "similar to a midaeval feast insofar as you just grab horking chunks of meat with your hands and gnaw on them".

   Also, I tend to enjoy a little song and dance with my lobster. This means that I'll sing my Lobster Song (details available upon request), and I'll make the lobsters dance, and then also make the lobsters sing. This, combined with my somewhat barbaric gustatory methodology, tends to leave very few undisturbed people at my table. But it was a glorious evening, and I was very full by the time I left.

2) Lobster Party! A few years back, some friends and I heisted some lobsters from the aforementioned annual dinner, set them up to have an illegal, unregistered party on campus, and called in the college police on them**. I even gave my name as "Rob Ster", but this was misheard and an innocent Mr. Stewart was subsequently questioned.

3) Lobster Sticks To Magnet! Self-explanatory.

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*Okay, four examples: I frequently answer the phone with "Lobster!" instead of "Hello." Really, it's just as effective at letting the person on the other end of the line know that you are there, and adds a bit of surrealism to their day, which I feel is always a good thing.

Although my housemates have sometimes felt otherwise, especially if I am answering a shared phone where someone calls for them, and especially when that someone is a business contact, or potential business contact, or "instantly former" business contact.

**Naturally, they were caught red-handed.

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