The Pun Also Rises

"One Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest"

    Normally, I am not a huge fan of sick humor. (Sure, I know the old joke asking "What's pink and bubbly and goes *tap tap tap*?", but it's not one of my favorites.) However, I'm willing to make an exception for this week, since I believe that I may be sick. And no, I don't think this simply because everyone tells me so when I make a bad pun as a hack comic, but because recently I've been a hack hack cough cough comic.

    Being sick makes me feel inferior. Shouldn't I have enough experience to know how to avoid it by now? My computer manages to avoid viruses (viri, to those sticklers for Latin correctness) (or feminae, to those sticklers for political correctness) most of the time, and when it gets one, I can just scan for it and remove it. Especially if it's a common virus.

    Yet the most common human virus has been around for centuries and we still have no cure for it. The mighty cold. And why is it called a cold, if your head gets hot? My boss would call it a hot cold, but that makes even less sense than saying "Out flew health, and in flew Enza." (Note to boss: please do not read the previous sentence.)

    That's what a fevered mind ends up thinking about. And that's why this illness of mine needs curing, and fast. Now, there are those who will tell you that laughter is the best medicine, but ask a diabetic whether he'd prefer insulin or a full Simpsons DVD collection, and you'll get one conflicted diabetic. My point is, laughter is handy, but it's not necessarily the best medicine.

    Well, at least I didn't think it was, until I heard about some studies by the University of Maryland. Their research shows that the beneficial effects of laughter can include an increased blood flow and a resistance to heart attacks and strokes. (Unfortunately for me, laughter only increases the huge amounts of phlegm that the flu-ridden body produces. And let me tell you, s'not fun.)

    Regardless, if laughter is truly good for you, it should be appreciated by the numerous serious medical professionals who laughed their heads off at the researchers conducting this study. They (the now headless professionals) pointed out that the study was not terribly scientific, and that laughter may just improve your mental mood and have no direct effect on your health.

    And I say, fine. I need my mental mood improved, especially when I'm sick. After a full day of suffering through work with the flu last week, I went to practice improv comedy for 40 minutes and felt great the whole time. Once I got over the paradox involved in practicing improvisation, I realized that laughter isn't the best medicine -- it's just good stuff. And while it won't magically mobilize your blood cells to counteract a cold, it improves your day. Which in a way, does counteract the fact that illness deproves your day.

    So I say, ignore the illness, and keep the comedy coming. Given the choice between Tylenol and humor, I'll choose humor, especially since it doesn't have a child-proof cap. I don't need time-release capsules as much as I need good comedic timing. The kind of timing that lets me know exactly when to provide the punchline to jokes that I set up at the beginning of the column. ("A baby in a microwave.")

    Hey, I agree that sick humor is not the best form of humor. But it is the best form of sick. If your body isn't going to be healthy, humor can at least help your mind to be. So remember whenever you read or hear one of my jokes, if you think it's not funny and don't laugh, you're only hurting yourself.

____________________

    Seth Brown is a local humor writer who feverishly writes this column every week. He appears frequently in the Washington Post's Style Invitational, infrequently in various other publications, and once in book form -- in his first book "Think You're The Only One?", published by Barnes & Noble. His Web site is www.RisingPun.com

All work on this page is copyright Seth Brown. If you are sharing it, please give attribution. If you want to reprint it, please contact me first.