I read a news story that Sarah Palin masks were selling like hotcakes in the two weeks before Halloween. I guess it’s clear what some people are most afraid of. If you want to know what I think people are most afraid of, check out my most recent column. And no, it’s not Sarah Palin.

In other news… well, I’ve been reading a lot of other news. And freestyle rapping about it. A nerdcore beatsmith by the handle of Pelicaine has crafted for me a very charming news show theme song, which got its inaugural use yesterday in my www.NewsInRap.com podcast. Like a hot librarian, I advise you to check it out.

And speaking of other news, I just had to share this tidbit from Losernet. It’s a tiny news item, but basically, a funeral home is trying to convince people that the staff there aren’t creepy and weird. And this is their best idea.

Hey, they can’t all be good.

Last weekend I attended my fourth wedding* in as many months. I continue to be surprised how different each wedding is that I attend, although this most recent one was perhaps more different yet, what with it being an orthodox wedding. Still, there was a bride, a groom, and other people I knew, so it was a wedding. And there were even animatronic parakeets on each table, which were bizarre but charming.

In other news, my most recent book review** ran in the USA Today yesterday, about a book on neurological marketing techniques. It was a fascinating read about how corporations will approach advertising in the years to come, and it takes subliminal advertising to whole other levels. It’s sort of awesome and scary, or at least, would be scary if so many other things weren’t much more scary.

*That is, fourth wedding of other people. I try only to get married every other month. Prospective wives, feel free to send gifts!

**Not, of course, a review of my book, for which I am still trying to find a publisher.

Apparently the RSS feed on this page has stopped working. I’m not sure why, but I guess if you’re reading this, it’s either finally fixed itself, or you don’t need the RSS feed anyway. I will continue poking around and trying to fix it so you can get Reliable Seth Stuff.

Speaking of which, like clockwork, here’s my column from yesterday. I’m still a little sad about that, but I think I made the right choice. Also, now that the presidential debates are over, I’m converting my freestyle rap podcast to a more general news format. I’ll be trying to post one episode a week at www.NewsInRap.com, so go listen to last night’s episode and hear me rap about the news as I read it so you don’t have to.

Or seven, possibly. That’s why you should go read this article about the seven powers we really want to see on Heroes. If you dig it, Digg it. If not, well, then maybe you’ll prefer my most recent column, which was about tissues.

Last week, I performed my stand-up act for the first monthly Comedy Open Mic at a new local restaurant. I used a lot of the same material I used four years ago at a conference in Ohio, but for some reason, it didn’t go over nearly as well. I’d have thought a crowd of humor writers would be a tougher crowd then a bunch of local folks attending a comedy night, but I was wrong.  Oddly, the local folks seemed to really dig the improv we did post-stand-up, which (to my mind) wasn’t a patch on my carefully crafted routine. Oh well; that’s why I do improv stuff.

Well, that’s it. I’ve now summarized in rap the last of the 2008 presidential debates. Like last time, I sat down at my computer with the transcript of the debate, put the beat on repeat, and rapped. For almost a half an hour. You can hear this epic freestyle that covers all the important points of the debate right on my podcast page.

I guess I’ll need a new plan for next week’s podcast…

So, for a long time — since I graduated from college — I’ve been working on this book. I’ve even mentioned it on the bottom of my Books page. And I finally finished it. But I haven’t managed to find a publisher yet. That’s why I decided to put it online. I’m posting one chapter a week at www.GodToVerse.com

Oh, and I should probably tell you what it is. I translated the entire Torah, the first five books of the Bible, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy, line by line, into verse. (Given that I spent roughly five years or so doing that, it should perhaps be no surprise that I consider summarizing a presidential debate in rhyme a relatively lighter project.) Anyway, go take a look, check back every week for a new chapter (or subscribe to the RSS feed), and if you like it, tell a friend.

Especially if that friend owns a large publishing company.

I believe it was some famous guy whose name eludes me (Thomas Jefferson? Mark Twain? Karl Marx?) who said, “I’d have written a shorter letter, but I didn’t have time.” I think I’ve never appreciated that as much as I do now, having just recorded my summary of the second presidential debate. See, for my previous two debate raps, I’ve spent hours (in the first debate, way too many hours) reading the debates and writing up rhymed summaries for myself to rap later.

This time, I wanted to take less time. So after watching a brief clip of the debate to hear the candidate’s voices (conclusion: I don’t care), I brought up the debate transcript, turned on a looped backbeat, and began freestyling. I had gotten maybe a quarter of the way down the page when I realized: “Crap, I’m already ten minutes into this!”

Since the whole thing was freestyled and recorded real-time with no pre-writing, you actually get to hear my realization on the podcast. Anyway, the whole thing clocks in at nearly 23 minutes, which is a lot longer than the previous debate raps, a little longer than I’d like, but still not nearly as long as watching the debate itself. More importantly, it took me much less time to do, so I’m likely to freestyle a summary for the final debate next week (unless I get a lot of people emailing to say “the first two were much better, please pre-write the last one!”)

Anyway, enough written blather. Time for rhyming verbal blather!

http://risingpun.podomatic.com/

…fry, fry again.

I’ve always had an unhealthy love of fried food. I am perhaps best known for my signature dish, the fried burrito, which I learned from an old highschool friend of mine. But in general, I’ve always believed that frying anything makes it tastier. My column this past weekend examines why that might be the case. But now that we have a deep fryer, it’s tricky to only use it occasionally. Especially since every time we use it, we end up with delicious food. Most recently, we made vegetable tempura* and fried calamari, which was unsurprisingly delicious.**

Anyway, I remember always arguing with people that frying any food would make it better. When I was young, people would offer ice cream as a counter-example. But having gone out for dinner recently where fried ice cream was on the menu, I must say to those people: Time to find a new counter-example.

* An amusing meal because it lets you eat plates of deep fried food while thinking to yourself “This is probably healthy.”

** Or in the case of the calamari, squidelicious.

I summarized last night’s debate in rap form. So if you want to know what Palin and Biden said, but can’t be bothered to sit through two hours of blather to find out, why not listen to my rapping executive summary? It can be found here.

Also, if you’d like to read an article about a lecture you just missed on Japanese culture and Art, look no further.