Well, the ebook edition of From God To Verse launched earlier this year, and in celebration of that fact, I commissioned a rap about sacred texts from one of my favorite rappers, MC Abdominal. He even named it after my book! So please go take a listen to this insightful and lyrically masterful rap:

MC Abdominal: From God To Verse

If you’re in a rush, I think the post title pretty much obviates everything I have to say here, but then again people in a rush aren’t really reading this blog to begin with. Anyway, as you may be aware, two decades ago in 2001 I started rewriting the entire Torah/Pentateuch (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) line-by-line in rhyming couplets. Interrupted by life, jobs, lack of motivation, and a couple other books, I finally released From God To Verse in 2010, in print form.

It was, and still is, my magnum opus: a complete line-by-line rhyming version of the entire Torah, including short rhymed chapter summaries in addition to the full text. To kick off the Jewish New Year, two decades after I started writing it, I am finally releasing From God To Verse in eBook format.

eBook-ified!

* I hired a copyeditor, and someone to format it all for ebook to make sure all the pages line up right and the Table of Contents is all hyperlinked to every single chapter. I even hired one more person, who I’ll tell you about in a future post in a few weeks. Frankly, I’m beginning to wonder if I should have spared some expense, since given the low price, I am going to have to sell some hundreds of copies just to break even on financial outlay, let alone receiving any recompense for my time and effort.

** And I mean actually $5. I’m sure that I’m losing out on algorithm points by pricing things at whole dollar amounts instead of $4.99, but it always seems like such a gimmick designed to fool people’s brains. I realize it’s a gimmick that works, but I’m trying to be honest and straightforward about things, and thus, $5. This attitude is one of the reasons I will probably never be a huge commercial success.

*** [William Tell Overture] Buck-a-book, buck-a-book, buck-a-book book book, Buck-a-book, buck-a-book, buck-a-book book book, Buck-a-book, buck-a-book, buck-a-book book book, Buck-a-book… a-buck-a-book book book [/William Tell Overture]

I just woke up from a nap. I do not normally take naps, but this morning we had people doing work on my roof at arse o’clock, and consequently I could count the hours of sleep I got on one hand without using all my fingers. Waking up from the nap did not change the world, but it did slightly renew me with energy to do the things I have to do today.

Today is also Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, making it a fine time for renewal. And also a fine time to buy my line-by-line rhyming version of the Torah, which makes a lovely gift or coffee table piece*. Like my nap, I don’t expect the new year to suddenly change the onslaught that has been 2020. But perhaps it can give people a little renewal to face the challenges ahead.

And the challenges of 2020 are many, even if I have tried to write about them in a funny way. Those with children rightfully wary of in-person classes may need to come up with their own homeschooling quizzes. All of us probably need help on how to talk to friends in 2020, because starting conversations the normal way is now terrible. And speaking of terrible, those minor issues pale in comparison to the steadily-creeping fascism of the current administration.

So please vote. Early in person or by mail. And I encourage and entreat you to ask yourself down the entire ballot, not just the presidential race, “Which of these candidates do I think will care about helping all of the people?”, and then vote for candidates who you personally deem more likely to do so. A simple rubric, but I figure if you read my blog, I trust your judgement.

*or small monitor stand, or you can kill a reasonably sized bug with it, or you can make a hat or a pterodactyl…

“A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.”
–Mark Twain

Had a friend over for lunch earlier this week, and we were discussing creative work and motivation. I said for me, there are only three reasons I do something:

1) I enjoy doing it.

2) I am being paid for it.

3) I want to have done it.

Obviously, it’s relatively easy to motivate yourself to do things in the first category. Sometimes there’s a startup inertia to overcome (see: making plans to actually interact with my friends face to face), but generally if you know you like something, it’s not hard to get yourself to do it. When it comes to writing, I’m actually surprisingly good at the second category. If I’m being paid for something, I am fairly motivated to set down and write it. I find this slightly more difficult with larger projects (such as my upcoming Little Book of Mahjong), but still if someone is paying me to write something, I’m pretty good at motivating myself to sit down and do so.

That third category, however, is what I often refer to as a “Mark Twain Classic”. I realized this week that sometimes blogging for me falls into this category, which is why I only end up doing it once a month or so. More (de)pressingly, into this category also falls any ambitious creative project of large scope for which I am not being paid. Small projects often stay fun long enough to also be in the first category. But big projects like books or albums or games*, if the fun is gone and the money shows no signs of appearing, the only remaining motivation is that Mark Twain Classic.**

But things don’t have to be restricted to one category. My humor column happily fulfills all three: I enjoy writing it, I get paid to do so, and I’m happy that the completed columns exist. Heck, I even hope you’re happy they exist, and might enjoy reading about how my family has a tradition of saying the wrong thing despite the Best of Intentions, or how people underestimate the Importance of Inspiration. Come to think of it, probably the best thing we can do is life is try to find outlets which fulfill all three categories at once.

But often that won’t be available, and so we do what I do, which is enjoy the first category as much as possible, plan to work on the second category as available, and tell myself that next month when the paid project is done, I’ll get around to that big personal project.

* Or in my case, a book about games and a game that would include a full album.

** And that’s why it took me a decade to write From God To Verse.

Yep, it’s National Poetry Month. I am once again taking the 30/30 Challenge to write a poem a day all month long. If that’s not enough poetry for you, you can read my newsman’s ode to the esteemed Dr. Seuss in a column I call Headline Seuss. And later this month I’ll be giving a presentation on From God To Verse through a local Jewish group. National poetry month is the perfect time to buy my rhyming translation of the Torah/Pentateuch.

The other day Debbie made lamb and potatoes, which was delicious. I love potatoes cooked in lamb fat, which I have affectionately termed “lambtaters”, which* in turn led me to wonder what a good example of a lambtater would be. Muttonleany?

My 4th Thursday Comedy Open Mic nights continue at the Parlor Cafe; anyone who finds themselves local during the appropriate time should stop by for free laughs and reasonably priced food and drink. Non-locals can content themselves with my ranting in written form. Last month the Williams Alumni Fund sent me half a dozen emails of solicitation within a 2-week period, prompting me to write this column about The Alumni Fund. If that sounds too bitter, maybe I just need some Hobbies**.

And I have finally started using Twitter. Don’t worry though, I’m not really joining the 21st century, I still don’t have a cell phone or ipad or car or anything like that. I recently joined a local boardgaming meetup group, so I’ll just be hanging out doing some old-fashioned analog Luddite gaming***

*When shall we three meet again?

***Amish pair o’ dice.

As mentioned in the previous post, this August was the wonderful week of the annual WordXWord Festival, which was, as always, a delight. As not mentioned in the previous post, I managed to win the big poetry slam this year, which was admittedly very nice, but mainly I was just delighted to get to hang out with so many amazing poets, hear amazing poems, and perform for an appreciative audience. I also made it to the finals of the Story Slam, where I told a slightly lengthier version of this story about going on a job interview.

Then we had our annual Labor Day Reunion with a number of old college friends, where we had silly and serious conversations on various horrible topics*, and I was reminded of why I enjoyed college so much in spite of not enjoying the structure.**

Last week’s big event*** was the 7th annual Alphabetic Boardgaming Challenge, where although Debbie got off to an early lead and a very strong start, I managed to fight my way back to win the event again. I recently posted a boardgame review for our final game of the event, a longtime favorite of mine named Scepter of Zavandor.

Next week will be Rosh Hashannah, a doubly important event which marks both the Jewish New Year, and an excellent time for people to buy copies of my rhyming Torah to give as gifts to your Jewish friends.

And in just over three months, it will be time for the 8th annual Heathen Hullabaloo. In the meantime, my column runs slightly more frequently than once a year, so perhaps you will enjoy Crazy Uncle Seth’s Back To School Tips. If you aren’t familiar with the season’s biggest headlines in the Berkshires, you may be less interested in Berkshire Headlines from an Alternate Dimension.

*How to get away with murder by not urinating on corpses, how long to grill your baby, etc.

**Prospect, the dorm I lived in, was an incredibly stupid structure.

***For me. Not, obviously, for Scotland.

Sorry, I meant my boardgame reviews on BGG, which are conveniently gathered on one page for you to peruse. (My older reviews for About.com are, alas, not so conveniently organized.) As expected, finally got a review up for Asgard’s Chosen, as well as two others. Maybe next year I’ll get around to reviewing Twilight Struggle*. And speaking of awesome board games my partner really dislikes, I read that 1960:TMotP** is now out of print, so maybe someone wants to buy my copy. My shelves are still filled with wonderful games that are never going to get played here, and my wallet is empty. Heck, I don’t even have business cards in there. I really need to fix that; I am not good at the networking thing.

Which is probably why social networking is hard for me, but at least last weekend I was social. Some of my dear college friends were in town for Homecoming, so even if they’ve all had children in the past few years and refused to use my ultimate baby-naming algorithm, I was still very happy to get to see them and hang out briefly. Coambulation*** is a wonderful thing.

Coagulation is a wonderful thing too. My visiting college friends joined me for dinner at two of my favorite local restaurants: Sushi House and Espana. There’s nothing that cheers me like the combination of good food and good friends. And tasty desserts; as the A-Team’s Hannibal often said, “I love it when a flan comes together.”

Thanksgivukah is only a few weeks away. And if (you/your friends) were doing any holiday shopping for people of the Judeo-Christian persuasion, I’d certes be thankful if you decided you wanted to (gift a copy of/share the link for) God To Verse.

*Or maybe nyet.

**The Mellower of twilight Permutations*

***meaning “to walk together”, a favored word and pasttime of mine.

To be fair, given that the only readily-accessible* option is usually death, it’s always a great time to be alive. But I have to say, I really enjoy living in the era of the free and open Internet. Obviously, previous generations didn’t have Internet at all, and between Verizon and SOPA and various other things threatening Net Neutrality and free access for all, it’s unclear whether the next few generations will share what we have now.

But just a minute ago I was thinking, the old green-eyed monster has reared its ugly head, and I wonder what would best fight it, and after discarding the Yankees**, I settled on a yellow power ring, and a quick search for “yellow power ring green lantern” brought me to the Wikipedia page for Sinestro, and then I link-hopped for a while until I reflected that it’s a glorious time to be alive.

Granted, I also enjoy the Internet because it lets me tell you that my comedy show on Friday went well, and point you to my latest boardgame review (Downfall of Pompeii), and my latest column which is about bus-riding veterans, and hey we’re approaching the holidays so it’s never too early to buy gift copies of From God To Verse.

But basically, I enjoy having the Internet, and so I think it’s a great time*** to be alive.

*Dude, Where’s My DeLorean?

**Who fight the Green Monster.

***2:04am

Yes, once again I decided to stay up all night after the debates and translate the entire thing into rhyme. I guess to some people that might seem like a ridiculous task, but honestly after spending a decade writing From God To Verse, an all-nighter spent translating a presidential debate is pretty much a lark for me. Granted, unlike GTV, this one is a summary and not a line-by-line translation, but I feel like I still hit all the important points.

Editor Bob Whitcomb, of the Providence Journal, was kind enough to post it on their New England blog, so I present:

2012 First Presidential Debate in Rhyme

Meanwhile, if you’re sick of politics even in rhyme, unlike the past few weeks, this week my column doesn’t mention anything political even once. It does, however, contain many bad jokes. So come receive your Punnish Mint.

Also, you may notice a new addition to my Books page. I’ll post a little more about that in a few weeks, since it’s not technically available for purchase yet, although there is currently a pre-order discount through that link for those of you who enjoy that sort of thing.

On the board game front, I’ve been chatting with some folks putting together a hip-hop-themed card game. As I’m joining their team somewhat belatedly, it’s unclear whether I will have a strong hand in redesigning the game, or simply wheedle my way into getting my own card, but either way I’m clearly the target demographic.

What can I say, when it comes to bad pun titles for blogposts, I just have an itchy trig finger.

For me, freelancing often feels like a sine wave, as the projects tend to come in “boom” and “bust” cycles.* A few months ago was a nice boom, when I wrote the rough draft of my next book, and also did some work for Fodor’s Travel Guides travelling the Berkshires. Then I had a bust cycle, and I re-discovered that I am addicted to video games between Steam and a ceaseless torrent of indie bundles.

Now, it is boom time once again, with the page proofs for my book having literally just arrived a few minutes before I wrote this post. This means I basically get to re-read my book and fail to find typos because I am so familiar with the material that my mind will probably miss them. But the good news is, I am pleased to announce that before the end of the year, my next book It Happened In Rhode Island will be available for purchase. More information in coming months.

Meanwhile, the most exciting new development for me is that I have been hired on to help with an educational project. This is still in the early stages, so details will have to wait for later, but suffice to say I am finally able to both put my talents to use and have the result be educational in addition to entertaining, and to get paid for that is pretty much what I want to do with my life.**

Oh right, my life. Well, I am Still Not Dead, albeit no thanks to my parents’ pantry, and continue to enjoy each day. My partner, whose office you may recall was closed down a few months back, has decided to take up knitting as a career, and has been cranking out socks that look pretty awesome. Once these are in sufficient quantity to be for sale, I will let you know. I can tell you from personal experience last winter, these are much, much better than normal socks for making your feet happy.

Meanwhile, an increase in knitting*** means a decrease in boardgaming, both due to time constraints, and table covered in knitting stuff. We’ve still played a few games, like Vikings and Ascension, but with everything else taking up time and space I may have to — *gasp* — sell some of my board games. Not my favorite ones, of course, but just some of the others. I guess that’s a bit of a tangent.

*** If I were a knitter, I’d have some clever pun about increases and decreases here. For once, I’m sad not to be a knit-wit. Maybe a joke about clutching your purls? I don’t understand knitting.