The problem with only updating bi-weekly is that by the time I get around to posting, I have a bucket of links. I will, however, do you the service of not posting the flash game to which I am currently addicted, as it is nothing but a humungous brainless waste of time. If you’re going to think about video games, reading my articles about People in your WOW Guild and Video Game Drinking Buddies will be much faster, and much less addictive.

Anyway, this blog has been slightly less storied than my WSO blog, perhaps because at that time I didn’t have many links to share. Back in those days, I wrote about the various ways in which I’d managed to fail at cooking. But I’ve consolidated the best of those old blog stories into a single column. Back then, just out of college, was the first time I was out of work. It’s vaguely similar to what I’m doing now, only I had no experience freelancing, no resume, and few books under my belt. Still, even back then I was working on God To Verse. This week’s portion I think is a good example of what I’ve tried to do in terms of explicatory work; the bible is filled with passages like, “She was in labor for seven days with her son, so she named him Mohar”, and it doesn’t make sense unless you know that “Mohar” was Hebrew for “week of pain”, so I’ve got little parenthetical bits to explain all of that.

The big link of the fortnight, however, is the video contest I’ve recently entered. See, I’ve been doing a lot of rapping at local performances, but I don’t have any sound equipment. So when I heard there was a contest to win a free microphone, I figured I should enter. Annoyingly, I don’t think the rap I entered is as good as the freestyles I perform locally, but it’s still a video of me rapping so you should feel free to take a look. (Thanks go to the inimitable Daniel Beck for videography.)

Oh, and in case I forget to post again before then, my improv troupe will be performing on Saturday May 9th at Barrington Stage in Pittsfield. Come out, and I guarantee a good time!

Okay, I’m probably never going to be bad-ass enough to be thought of as a renegade. But this week is my best shot. I reviewed a book for the USA Today called Career Renegade, about quitting your job and doing what you love. And hey, it sort of resonates.

Meanwhile, my column rails against the very popular Facebook, because we renegades rail against things that are popular. And things that it’s popular to rail against, like the bible? That we re-write in rhyme.

Because after all, we know that rhyming is the province of renegades.* Only a bad-ass gangster would bring you the News In Rap, right? And only a 1960s renegade beatnik refugee would be planning to perform at a poetry slam this Thursday, which you can see by showing up at The Alley on Thursday night around 8ish.

And now it’s time for the big renegade move: Ice Cream For Lunch. Yes, rebellion can be delicious.

*Roses are red, Violets are blue,
Renegades often ignore the rules of rhyming.**

**But not when you expect them to.
(To rebel in season is not to rebel, suckas!)

Last week my improv troupe had two performances in South County. During the Saturday performance at Barrington Stage, there was a game of Quotes* where I was playing a mad scientist**. For this reason, with no other prompting, I decided to threaten my enemy with a giant gorilla robot. Sadly, my invention was not perfected, and the robot stalled out and did not attack. A minute later in the scene, my partner picks up a quote and reads “Get your stinkin’ paws off me, you damned dirty ape.” Needless to say, I was overjoyed to have proof that my evil gorilla robot was functioning after all.

Note to self: Never try to describe improv to people who weren’t there.

In other news, my column is about board games, my freestyle rapping is about the news, my friend’s new fantasy short story is about Odin’s ravens, my rhyming version of the Torah is about due for a shot at publication, and my bedtime is about now.

*Quotes is a game where we get our audience to write random lines of dialog on scraps of paper before the show. These papers are folded and not looked at. During the scene, actors will pull out random quotes from the audience, read them, and work them into the scene.

**Yes, I know, typecasting.

And what better way to celebrate than my Day After Christmas column?  Well, sure, you could catch up on God To Verse, or News In Rap, but why not do all three?

I enjoyed a wonderful Christmas, playing board games all day, then out for traditional Chinese buffet with some artist friends, some gaming friends, and some girlfriend. Said girlfriend and I then came home to watch Police Squad and play more board games, which is pretty much a perfect evening. If you’d like to learn more about gaming with your partner, why not read my new article about that?

Also, I’m always surprised when the Chinese restaurants have Christmas music playing on Christmas. I asked them to either turn it off or switch to something more traditional Chinese, because most people going to Chinese restaurants on Christmas? Really don’t need any more Christmas music right now, thanks. Anyway, Christmas is over, so there’s the Chanukah party tomorrow, and then New Years festivities for the next week. Now that’s how you ring out a year.

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy reviewing things? Well, I do. And hopefully you enjoy when I review things too. Because I have two recent reviews. One of them, team-written, can let you know where to get pizza in the Berkshires. The other will tell you whether you’re likely to enjoy a certain party board game, which happens to be a decent game for people who don’t like most board games.

And you should be glad that I’m happy writing these reviews. Because as I mention in yesterday’s column, new research suggests that your happiness is affected by the happiness of your friends, their friends, and even their friends. So if you’re looking to help yourself out by making me happy this holiday season, tell a religious friend about GodToVerse. Mentioning it to your pastor, your rabbi, or even fellow members of your congregation, would be appreciated. Definitely by me, and quite possibly by them as well.

Okay, it’s not Thanksgiving for another two days. But I won’t be posting anything for a few days, so I figured I’d send out my good wishes now. I hope your holiday is as good as my last few days have been. Improv went great. There’s a new pre-Thanksgiving podcast at NewsInRap.com, and new chapter up at GodToVerse.com.

Perhaps most entertaining to me is the article I recently came across where someone wrote about my WordPlay presentation from the other week. I’ve had various friends read the article, one of whom said it made me sound like a mad scientist, and one of whom said he wished it was written about him. Conclusion? One of my friends wants to be a mad scientist. But I already am, and I have to say, I’m good with that.

Time to go eat some ice cream… for SCIENCE!

Inside my package of sliced turkey breast was a small plastic wrapped insert. After wiping off enough turkey grease to open the package, it was a tiny little sweepstakes card for merchandise from a company called “Fathead”. I opened it up to play, and sure enough, I didn’t win. But since this message was printed just above the company logo, it ended up saying, “Sorry, you are not a winner, Fathead.” I found this pretty entertaining, and feel this message needs to be slipped into more food products.

I have now crossed the 100 board game mark*. It is an awesome thing to realize we could play a board game every night and not repeat ourselves for well over three months. It is probably time to stop paying money for board games now, although I am still always looking to acquire good board games through trade and serendipity.

But what is a good board game? Well, why not read my most recent feature article about a fellow who wrote the book (well, a book) on game design. Basically, a good board game has good mechanics, and I tend to favor “German-style” games (aka “Eurogames”).

My computer was down for a few days earlier this week, but it’s back up now, and I’ve got a new episode of News In Rap for you. You can get lots of news, and impromptu rhyming, all in 10 minutes or so. What’s not to like?

Oh, you don’t like news or rhyming? I have a sweepstakes card for you…

*By which I mean, my collection has surpassed 100 board games. I would not want to cross 100 Board Game Mark, who sounds like a Dick Tracy villain.