Although it may lack the charm of the Sales Guy vs. Web Guy video, if you are interested in Management vs. Marketing brain differences, you should check out my latest book review in the USA Today.

Speaking of marketing, one of these days I should really re-design my website. Sadly, I no longer have whatever program I used to create it originally (possibly dreamweaver?), and lost the list of used fonts and colors, and fear it would be a large undertaking with dubious value. But not only do my links need to be updated, but my columns page is woefully out of date. Also, back when I built this site, it was mostly on a lark, so the “donations” link was funny. Now that I’m using it as my professional site, I feel like I should probably remove it, but I’d have to redo the whole header. Maybe I can get some federal bailout funds to do so. I kid, I kid.

Besides, I think there’s a bigger bailout problem Obama should be worrying about. I’ll even tell you about it in my most recent column, which I am almost ashamed to admit was inspired by a post a while back on Ephblog* asking about the demise of the joke.

I could swear there was something else I was going to mention when I started writing this post, but I got distracted again. Oh, I remember! If you have any affinity for video games, you might enjoy these articles I’ve been writing for Gameist.com. I like video games because playing them a little is fun, but playing them all day is a sign of depression. I think that’s sort of neat. And I’m going to go play video games.

*A blog where Williams alums discuss various tangentially-Williams-related things, albeit mostly how Williams should be running things. I used to read it frequently when I was still more connected with the college community, now I read it infrequently.

Okay, I’m probably never going to be bad-ass enough to be thought of as a renegade. But this week is my best shot. I reviewed a book for the USA Today called Career Renegade, about quitting your job and doing what you love. And hey, it sort of resonates.

Meanwhile, my column rails against the very popular Facebook, because we renegades rail against things that are popular. And things that it’s popular to rail against, like the bible? That we re-write in rhyme.

Because after all, we know that rhyming is the province of renegades.* Only a bad-ass gangster would bring you the News In Rap, right? And only a 1960s renegade beatnik refugee would be planning to perform at a poetry slam this Thursday, which you can see by showing up at The Alley on Thursday night around 8ish.

And now it’s time for the big renegade move: Ice Cream For Lunch. Yes, rebellion can be delicious.

*Roses are red, Violets are blue,
Renegades often ignore the rules of rhyming.**

**But not when you expect them to.
(To rebel in season is not to rebel, suckas!)

Well, I’m back from my week-long sojourn in Western lands. It rained for at least half of the time I was in California, which was sub-optimal. Still, it was a pretty good vacation, and I even wrote a column about it. The column doesn’t mention that I went back to Chinatown and got steamed BBQ pork buns from as many bakeries as I could. So tasty; I may have to learn how to make them.

In other news that transpired while I was away, some people in India are working on a new soft drink that sounds udderly ridiculous. Don’t believe me? Read my other column.

Last night was our improv show at the Barrington Stage Company in Pittsfield. Although a concurrent  local comedy show stole some of our crowd (our previous show there was nearly a full house), I still thought it went quite well. We debuted a new game I invented called “Rap Psychiatrist”, where I am a rapping psychiatrist who helps other troupe members with their (audience-suggested) mental issues. I think it went quite well, and once the other folks in the troupe get better at rapping, I think it will quickly become one of our most popular games.

Finally, people sometimes ask me why I play board games all the time, and why I’m happy all the time. Well, the answers may be linked.

Well, the good news is that I am feeling healthy again. If you want to know more about why I might have been sick, feel free to read Friday’s column. There has been a lot of illness going around, though. Many friends of mine have been feeling under the weather.* I’m just glad I’m getting better before my upcoming Horace Greely-inspired** journey.

Things here, meanwhile, have been entertaining. I’ve been focusing less on my rapping, and more on my poetry*** and comedy. And of course, by “focusing”, I mean “paying attention to for the hour a day when I’m not playing games”. But my constant gaming is to your benefit: Here’s a new guide for how you can become a better Settlers of Catan player.

Meanwhile, if you happen to be near Pittsfield on the evening Saturday, March 7th, I believe there will be an improv show for you to catch.

*Then again, if they were over the weather, they’d be gods.

**I looked up the quote to check, and apparently the original quote is by John Soule. But Greely was the man who popularized it, and so I maintain that is by him that the journey is inspired. If you disagree, Go Soak Your Head, Young Man.

***Monthly local poetry slams have started up again. I wrote a new poem for the last one. It won.

Literally. Although the day started out quite promisingly, I spent the evening and all of today being very ill. I’m hoping that I recover soon, as I’m supposed to go do some stand-up comedy in Pittsfield later this week. And then in April, I’ll be doing some stand-up in Rhode Island. I’m trying to separate my comedy from my rapping a bit more, so I’m going to try to do these two shows with no rapping. Although one of these days, I’d love to do a rap-only show. Yo.

Anyway, Valentine’s Day may be a hateful thing, but I’ve still got my column for you, so that’s good. There was going to be something funny in this post, but I’m too ill to remember it, so I think I’m going to step away from the computer now.

My review of the above title will soon be printed in the USA Today, but you can catch a sneak preview on their website.

My Groundhog Day column comes a bit after Groundhog Day. To make up for that, next week I trust my Valentine’s Day column will be out the day before Valentine’s Day. Which, coincidentally, is Friday the 13th. And if you’re looking to celebrate Friday the 13th, you could either put on a hockey mask and buy a chainsaw, or you could come out to the RBIT show. The Royal Berkshire Improv Troupe will be appearing at the Main Street Stage in North Adams at 8pm, and for a mere $5 cover charge, hilarity could be yours. C’mon, it’s Friday the 13th, February, and near Valentine’s Day. You NEED some hilarity.

Actually, if you were the type of person who plays a lot of video games, there’s a new video game humor site that recently launched, called Gameist.com. And the reason I know this is because I’ve written a few articles for them, and hope to write a few more. The site is very video game focused, so if you like video games, you should go read my articles there. Conversely, if you hate video games, don’t bother following that link. You’d be better off just listening to the newest episode of News In Rap.

The Best Dang Games blog has posted another of my articles, this one about how to host a gaming night for non-gamers. I am lucky in that many of my friends already are gamers, so I can often skip right to the more complex games I crave, but for those of you with no such luck, hosting a gaming night might be a good gateway drug. I mean… event. I’m certainly not an addict who just traded 5 of my unloved board games through the mail to get other board games I’d like better. Maybe.

Speaking of fun, I recently came across this new site, OldJewsTellingJokes.com. It’s what you’d expect. The McCoy joke isn’t funny, but the other two are cute. Albeit old. I mean, that’s the point of the site. Old Jews, Old Jokes.

Anyway, February is the most depressing month, but I’m going to make a concerted effort to keep it fun, and so should you. In fact, I’m already having friends over for dinner tonight, and have plans with another friend tomorrow. To play some of those board games I don’t keep acquiring like an addict.

But not so much toil, and not so much trouble.

It’s been a good week for double things. My column from last week about the decline of the newspaper industry got bumped to this week, so along with today’s column about dinosaurs, it was a two-column week.

Speaking of columns*, this week I finished reading The Pillars of the Earth, by Ken Follett, and thus freed myself to finally open and play my Pillars of the Earth board game. I had been avoiding it because I was worried about spoilers. Yes, from a board game. I hate spoilers. Unless it’s the Red Sox in a World Series. Anyway, double Pillars: a capital idea.

This week was also a delicious week, because we made a double-batch of Moussaka, thus guaranteeing a lunch of delicious leftovers for days. This pleases me greatly. If you have not had Moussaka, then you are missing out. I think I’d even recommend Moussaka over Rattattouie, if you are looking for a dish that is not made from rodents but is spelled like it might be.**

And finally, if you are not familiar with the work of fantasy author Margaret Ronald, you have the double good fortune of being able to read her newest short story, and being able to purchase her just-released novel, which I recommend.

*How ionic.

**See also: Vermicelli.

Last week my improv troupe had two performances in South County. During the Saturday performance at Barrington Stage, there was a game of Quotes* where I was playing a mad scientist**. For this reason, with no other prompting, I decided to threaten my enemy with a giant gorilla robot. Sadly, my invention was not perfected, and the robot stalled out and did not attack. A minute later in the scene, my partner picks up a quote and reads “Get your stinkin’ paws off me, you damned dirty ape.” Needless to say, I was overjoyed to have proof that my evil gorilla robot was functioning after all.

Note to self: Never try to describe improv to people who weren’t there.

In other news, my column is about board games, my freestyle rapping is about the news, my friend’s new fantasy short story is about Odin’s ravens, my rhyming version of the Torah is about due for a shot at publication, and my bedtime is about now.

*Quotes is a game where we get our audience to write random lines of dialog on scraps of paper before the show. These papers are folded and not looked at. During the scene, actors will pull out random quotes from the audience, read them, and work them into the scene.

**Yes, I know, typecasting.