Hello, new year! I greet you with open arms*! I enjoyed last year quite a bit, so I’d like to sign up for more of the same. That’s why we’ll start off the new year right with a column about infinite food, millions of wasted dollars, and clean plates.

I know, you’re thinking, “Surely you won’t manage a whole post without talking about board games?” Well, you’re right.**  Some of you know that I recently got yet another shipment of board games. Among them was Android: an epic adventure game with a much bigger rulebook than any other game I own. This is also the first boardgame for which I’ve seen a truly compelling trailer, which is linked in my review, which you should go read.

Man, that’s enough whiches to start a coven.

*To hug you. Also with open mouth, to eat your tasty food.

**And quit calling me Shirley.

And what better way to celebrate than my Day After Christmas column?  Well, sure, you could catch up on God To Verse, or News In Rap, but why not do all three?

I enjoyed a wonderful Christmas, playing board games all day, then out for traditional Chinese buffet with some artist friends, some gaming friends, and some girlfriend. Said girlfriend and I then came home to watch Police Squad and play more board games, which is pretty much a perfect evening. If you’d like to learn more about gaming with your partner, why not read my new article about that?

Also, I’m always surprised when the Chinese restaurants have Christmas music playing on Christmas. I asked them to either turn it off or switch to something more traditional Chinese, because most people going to Chinese restaurants on Christmas? Really don’t need any more Christmas music right now, thanks. Anyway, Christmas is over, so there’s the Chanukah party tomorrow, and then New Years festivities for the next week. Now that’s how you ring out a year.

Well, all the winter holidays are here, so what better way to celebrate than reading my column about your holiday horoscope? I’ve been having a grand time, attended a Solstice party tonight, performed at a holiday revue (did I mention I enjoy revue-ing?), and am looking forward to playing lots of board games over the next week, followed by hosting a number of old friends, the usual New Years parties, copious amounts of tasty food, and so forth.

For once, I may enter the new year hoping that it mirrors the old one for me, because I’ve really enjoyed 2008. But I get ahead of myself. We’re still in the tail end of this year, so I hope you all enjoy the holiday season, whatever holiday you celebrate. Including empty set. Which sounds like a weird holiday where people give each other matching gift-wrapped boxes containing nothing. Or maybe that’s Buddhist Christmas. Although that’d probably be one with everything, not nothing. I guess they’re linked, but Buddhist philosophy may not be the ideal topic for a humorous blog. I just mention it now and zen.

Also, there’s a new News in Rap posted.

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy reviewing things? Well, I do. And hopefully you enjoy when I review things too. Because I have two recent reviews. One of them, team-written, can let you know where to get pizza in the Berkshires. The other will tell you whether you’re likely to enjoy a certain party board game, which happens to be a decent game for people who don’t like most board games.

And you should be glad that I’m happy writing these reviews. Because as I mention in yesterday’s column, new research suggests that your happiness is affected by the happiness of your friends, their friends, and even their friends. So if you’re looking to help yourself out by making me happy this holiday season, tell a religious friend about GodToVerse. Mentioning it to your pastor, your rabbi, or even fellow members of your congregation, would be appreciated. Definitely by me, and quite possibly by them as well.

It’s a phrase that has a number of interesting endings. Sure, there’s damn and darn, but there are also more colorful expressions like rat’s ass, tinker’s cuss, and airborne intercourse.

Anyway, speaking of giving, last week’s column was about Maimonides and the eight levels of charitable giving (and how it relates to the old Batman TV series). You’ve probably noticed that I am not always instantaneous with my column updates. However, I’ve arrived at a reasonable solution. I have added to the sidebar, under current projects, a link that says “The Pun Also Rises”. This is a link to a search for my name on the Transcript site, which should always bring up my most recent columns. As an added bonus, if I am performing at some newsworthy local event, or have been arrested for making jokes at a funeral, it will probably find that too.

So, lately life has been pretty great. I’ve been doing what I’ve always wanted to, which is writing restaurant reviews. I like eating, and I like reviewing, so that works out pretty well. But I also spend a copious amount of time playing board/card games, which I really enjoy (comma optional).  Thus I am pleased to share with you my first in a series of board game reviews over at the Talkin’ About Board Games blog.

I’ve played enough board games at this point to feel like I definitely know what I’m talking about, so head on over and check out my review of Race for the Galaxy, with more to follow in the coming weeks. And if you aren’t fortunate enough to live near a game store, but have a thirst for board games, the fellows who run the blog also have a game-selling website with nicely discounted prices. (And for any Florida readers, it sounds like they run local game nights too…)

Okay, it’s not Thanksgiving for another two days. But I won’t be posting anything for a few days, so I figured I’d send out my good wishes now. I hope your holiday is as good as my last few days have been. Improv went great. There’s a new pre-Thanksgiving podcast at NewsInRap.com, and new chapter up at GodToVerse.com.

Perhaps most entertaining to me is the article I recently came across where someone wrote about my WordPlay presentation from the other week. I’ve had various friends read the article, one of whom said it made me sound like a mad scientist, and one of whom said he wished it was written about him. Conclusion? One of my friends wants to be a mad scientist. But I already am, and I have to say, I’m good with that.

Time to go eat some ice cream… for SCIENCE!

My column from yesterday was about cliches. Yes, there should be an accent, but I’m too lazy to find it. For professional correspondence — and this is a trade secret — I tend to use Google to find a page with an accented e, and then just copy and paste that at the bottom of my document, to use whenever I need it with more pasting. But it’s 2am and right now, I’m not feeling professional.

The latest episode of my non-professional freestyled reporting is now available at www.NewsInRap.com. Tomorrow night (well, okay, technically tonight) I’m performing with the Royal Berkshire Improv Troupe at the local theatre, which is also not technically professional. And although I’m not a professional board gamer, I probably spend as much time gaming as one. My latest addiction is Dominion, which we acquired barely a few weeks ago. We’ve already played two dozen games,

Today I ate a pizza at a restaurant called “Hold the Anchovies”, and roughly 10 minutes after I ordered, while sitting at my table, it suddenly hit me: I can’t believe I didn’t order anchovies.

Well, we’re back on the air. Things seem to have been fixed, thanks largely to the efforts of one of my generous friends. When he heard what had happened to me, he emailed me and offered to fix things. I am indeed fortunate to have such do-gooders in my circle.

In fact, this isn’t the only do-gooding that he has done. He has also written a book which deals with the scourge of child slavery that is still present in the world today. So he’s fighting the efforts of malicious hackers *and* child slavers. Whereas today, I mostly sat around in sweatpants and looked at the Internet. Perhaps I will be more productive tonight.

Howdy folks,

My site seems to have been hacked at somewhat, so I apologize for any problems you may be having with it. I’ll try to have the damage fixed as soon as I can. (which, okay, may not be really soon since it’s mostly beyond me.)

Apologies.